7 Things Nobody Ever Told You About Long Distance

By Catherine Muscaro on June 20, 2016

The boy I met my first week of college is perfect — except he lives eight hours away.

He was the roommate of my best friend from high school and (while I broke a no-dating-each-others’-roommates pact) I knew the minute I saw him he was special. We hit it off right away and have been together for almost a year already. He was my rock freshman year and he is someone I can always depend on. I wouldn’t want anyone else to share my college journey with.

The only problem is he lives in Philadelphia, and I live in Cleveland. Yep, that’s 476 miles and eight hours between us. And sure, a good chunk of the year is spent together on campus at OU; the other three and half months known as summer break consist of zero face-to face interaction.

(image courtesy of theodysseyonline.com)

But adding distance to a relationship isn’t all bad. In some cases, it’s really, really good. You can Google 101 blog posts as to why long distance relationships suck, but I’m going to argue against that. Why? Because there are seven things nobody ever told you about dating long distance:

1.) It makes every conversation better. After initially parting ways, it can be daunting thinking of all the downtime you’ll have to fill without your favorite person by your side. But not spending every minute together means you’ll actually have stuff to share during your nightly Skype call. The everyday things you normally experience firsthand with your S/O will become some of the most newsworthy topics. You’ll learn to treat your daily routine like inspiration for the stories you’ll tell your partner later. It makes every day more bearable.

2.) It’s easier to plan surprises. My boyfriend recently teased about the gifts he plans on getting me for my birthday and our anniversary. While I love a good surprise and would never ever go looking for my presents, being apart means there’s no accidental chance of finding it (and zero temptation for me to start snooping). It also means he has plenty of time to search without any interruptions or distractions from me.

3.) You’re less likely to ignore friends and family. A lot changes after a year away at college. Transitioning back home and reestablishing old friendships with high school friends may be difficult. And while it’s not always necessary to keep connections with all of your old friends, it’s nice to know that they won’t take the backseat to your relationship. Having this distance between you means you’ll focus on rekindling and nurturing relationships with your family and close friends. This likely wouldn’t happen if your partner lived nearby.

4.) Your relationship is more than physical attraction. Let’s be realistic: we are young and we are in college. Many relationships begin (and end) because of simple physical attraction, and most do not exceed this shallow beginning. However, when you factor in hundreds of miles, that physical closeness disappears. You have to rely on your genuine commitment to your S/O and the things you know about them as a person. If you never got past their anatomy, chances are the relationship won’t get past the distance.

5.) You get a chance to miss them. I love spending time with my boyfriend. It is something I could never tire of doing. But not seeing him whenever I like makes me truly appreciate him in ways I never knew I could. Of course I would never take for granted his kind-heartedness or selflessness; but it’s something I appreciate even more when I don’t experience it 24/7. It’s the little things you’ll miss most, and the things that really count.

6.) Visiting one another is so much more fun. I just recently booked my flights to visit my boyfriend for a long weekend in July. Though we are super compatible for one another, the communities we grew up in are polar opposites. It’s so much fun visiting him and getting to explore pieces of his childhood that are so different from mine. It makes everything more rewarding, not only for me, but for our relationship. I love that there is always something new to learn or somewhere new to see. It keeps things interesting.

7.) You get to spend quality time with yourself. One of the most dangerous threats of any relationship is losing your own individuality. You become so wrapped up in being a “we” that you forget how to be a “me.” With long distance — whether you like it or not — you have to spend time alone. This doesn’t mean you’re condemned to eat lunch all by yourself or ignore your friends. But it does mean you will be forced to get to know yourself without your partner’s influence. What do you like to do? What makes you laugh? What do you like about yourself? It’s important to keep in touch with who you are, especially when you’re in a relationship.

Whatever you choose to do, and whomever you choose to love, I hope no amount of miles ever stop you. I hope that wherever your love is, you follow it. Distance should never come between you and the thing you love most. I know it never will for me.

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