The Worst Excuses You'll Ever Hear For Missing Work

By Sarah Christine Davis on January 8, 2016

Chances are that at some point in your life, you or someone you know has been afflicted by this difficult malady. Maybe you’ve resisted it; maybe you haven’t, to your own peril. However, it isn’t possible to avoid it forever.

At some point in your life, you will undoubtedly experience A Strong Desire to Skip Work.

Some people can accept this fate and drag their feet to work. However, many others fall victim to it. A lucky few are able to make up an excuse and get out of it alive. And more often than not, those who fall victim to it do so unsuccessfully.

Luckily, those who are separated from the chaos can get something out of others’ excuses: humor. Some excuses are so bad that you can’t help but laugh and wonder how someone thought they would work.

Read on for some college students’ humorous excuses for missing work!

It’s a zoo out there.

Image via Pixabay

Many excuses for missing work involve cuddly creatures. Experience.com lists several pet-related excuses that people really used to explain why they missed work.

For example, one person claimed that they missed work after tripping over their dog and being knocked unconscious as a result. Another alleged that their monkey died (I sincerely hope that that one isn’t true — poor monkey). My personal favorite is an employee who said that their cat had unplugged their alarm clock.

However, the animal excuses aren’t limited to ones about the furry loved ones we have at home. The same website features a claim from one person who claimed to have been sprayed on by a skunk, another who supposedly totaled his wife’s car after running into a cow, and another who asserted that they had been spat on by a venomous snake.

While none of these animal-related excuses seem particularly credible, they certainly are entertaining.

I donut believe these food excuses.

We need it to live, but sometimes food can be a hindrance. Whether the following excuses from The Telegraph are true or false, they certainly suggest that food can be both a blessing and a curse.

For example, one person claimed that a can of baked beans landed on their big toe. Beans, beans, good for your heart; the more you eat, the more excuses you have to get out of work — am I right?

Image via Buzzfeed

Another person claimed to have gotten their hand stuck in a toaster. However, that’s probably an easier mess to clean up than the mess made by the person in the photo above.

Of course, you can also claim that you’ve been struck by food poisoning and are too sick to come into work. However, if you do so, be prepared to be asked to come into work and told that you can go home if you start feeling like you’re going to die. I’m not speaking from personal experience or anything.

Just plain ridiculous.

Image via Pixabay

While the above excuses haven’t been particularly believable, they didn’t seem impossible. However, some people go above and beyond when it comes to making up excuses that are just plain ridiculous.

According to an annual study done by Career Builder in 2013, plenty of employees have provided far-fetched excuses for missing work.

One employee claimed that they couldn’t come in because his fake eye was falling out of his socket. Another employee’s false teeth allegedly flew out of the window while they were driving down the highway.

One employee reported a different car-related issue — a swarm of bees surrounding their vehicle, making them unable to get to work. Apparently he couldn’t take the buzz to work, either. (Get it? Buzz?)

Keeping it real.

Image via Pixabay

Of course, some college students go the more honest route.

“I pulled an all-nighter studying for an exam and fell asleep right before work.” “I drank way too much last night and I was way too sick to come in.” “I kept hitting the snooze button.”

Those are some less-than-decent reasons to miss work, but at least they’re honest … right?

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